omg...its been yonks since I last blogged!!! I have proven my incessant inherent sheer laziness yet once more and trust me, I'm not the least bit proud of it...its somewhat embarassing haha it really is a tumultuous task to unlearn...
To be honest, I really don't know what I'm gonna write about tonight. I must admit that it is yet another melancholic night and perhaps, that just made me want to pen. I've got Stevie boy in the background belching out lately...it soothes my very soul. Maybe its really is what people term a mid life crisis thats eating into me of late. I never used to believe in all these acronyms, these technical jargons conjured by man; cause how is it possible to ascribe a certain standard to a feeling; one that is unique and different in varying intensities in that one individual moment? But perhaps now I do comprehendo...perhaps words are the closest one can get to describing that very moment.
I'm gonna be 30 this year. In the eyes of the common masses, I should be a happy man. But why do I want so much more? I've realized that innately, it is not wants of the systems of the left and of the right that will make me happy...I cannot yet pin point the specifics, but I do know this is not it. The careers going good by most. An analyst with a hedge fund thats nominated for the best fund 2006, how shabby can that get. They've given me a handsome bonus and pay raise, they've voiced their appreciation and look forward to more good times. The cars souped up, a nice turbo, monstrous brakes, streetable coilovers etc etc...isn't that every boy's dream?? I guess its never enough...isnt it...shites, whitney houstons playing now hahaha
I've also appreciated the realism of the human nature. You can never be too nice or genuine...it rarely pays. When you're all real, it just so happens that it's a natural biological attribute for one to take that for granted. When you divulge too much, you wear your vulnearbility on your sleeve. Do you think most people would appreciate the truth? Nah...they'd probably be looking out for the next moment to screw you, take you for granted or have you on the backburner for that matter. Its human nature and they'd probably weren't aware so you can't really fault them...but its there...its in their subconcious...its Darwanian and all about survival of the fittest...anyones that read Blink by Malcolm Galdwell would agree. I've realized, you've gotta make people work for your love and respect. Give it to them only if they're worth it, only if they work hard enough to deserve it. They will not appreciate if its served on a silver platter, they never will. And to that, Fxxx them!!!
Sunday, May 6, 2007
Sunday, January 21, 2007
Truth - Perception - Reality
I am staying committed to driving my blog...Yipee!!!
This is my 2nd posting and being the ever so infamous piggy that epitomizes inefficiency and glorifies sheer laziness...I am ever more so determined.
My lappie crashed big time and this time round it wasn't a blip of any sorts, it called for a major surgery and was wheeled to the ER on Sunday. The neurosurgeon confirmed that the HDD kaptuped...it really was brain dead this time!!! I'm not an advocate of euthanasia but I had to do the right thing, I had to pull the plug for now. Fortuately, within a spate of 2 hours, I was acquainted with my new buddy; IBM T42. It sure looks a dud...dull, boring, black...but for a 2 year old slave, S$680 was a swell bargain and how could I complain...I honestly hope he's a healthy little boy as I have such a sadistic streak it's not funny haha :) You're a workhorse and let's hope you'll prove it...Welcome to the hood brudder...
A lingering thought has been nagging at me. I have been intrigued by the human psyche ever since adolescence and in particular, of late, reciprocal attraction of the homosapien. Have you ever wondered how 2 different people of the opposite sex get attracted to each other in the first instance??? It is a most intriguing subject and yet, having pondered over such a phenomenon since God knows when, I still hold stead in my utmost conviction that it really boils down to a fundamental need that is very much dependent on ever moving variables such as the current environment, the state of mind, the physical and biological attributes etc etc. Perhaps I should elaborate. Ever wondered how our parents or more so our grandparents for that matter were attracted to each other? Those were the tough years as some might appreciate; my grandad lived in an attap house and had to run 2 jobs just to make ends meet. He met the love of my life; Grandma, during World War 2 and she was then bethroed to him with his black and white photograph in her hand, they met for the first time in their lives on their wedding night. They couldn't afford the luxury of a personal television and as you might have already guessed, 3 generations later, I now have my dad, 7 uncles and 3 aunts. If you appreciate the history of the times, my grandparents were married to a specific theme; Survival. When the Japanese invaded our shores, being the young, adrenalin pumped, sex starved beasts that they had evolved into, single women were very much susceptible to brutal and prolonged rapings. Grandma didn't have a choice. But the glaring fact remains till this very day, that she loved him for all the days of their spent lives and even after he passed on, her love for him never did die. Was such reciprocal attraction ever given a minute chance to nurture? It appears highly unlikely. But then, how did 2 complete strangers consumate their wedding upon seeing each other for the first time, beared 11 children, and stuck through it all for 50 years. Only love has such immense power over the sane. Yet was there attraction in the first instance?
TO BE CONTINUED
This is my 2nd posting and being the ever so infamous piggy that epitomizes inefficiency and glorifies sheer laziness...I am ever more so determined.
My lappie crashed big time and this time round it wasn't a blip of any sorts, it called for a major surgery and was wheeled to the ER on Sunday. The neurosurgeon confirmed that the HDD kaptuped...it really was brain dead this time!!! I'm not an advocate of euthanasia but I had to do the right thing, I had to pull the plug for now. Fortuately, within a spate of 2 hours, I was acquainted with my new buddy; IBM T42. It sure looks a dud...dull, boring, black...but for a 2 year old slave, S$680 was a swell bargain and how could I complain...I honestly hope he's a healthy little boy as I have such a sadistic streak it's not funny haha :) You're a workhorse and let's hope you'll prove it...Welcome to the hood brudder...
A lingering thought has been nagging at me. I have been intrigued by the human psyche ever since adolescence and in particular, of late, reciprocal attraction of the homosapien. Have you ever wondered how 2 different people of the opposite sex get attracted to each other in the first instance??? It is a most intriguing subject and yet, having pondered over such a phenomenon since God knows when, I still hold stead in my utmost conviction that it really boils down to a fundamental need that is very much dependent on ever moving variables such as the current environment, the state of mind, the physical and biological attributes etc etc. Perhaps I should elaborate. Ever wondered how our parents or more so our grandparents for that matter were attracted to each other? Those were the tough years as some might appreciate; my grandad lived in an attap house and had to run 2 jobs just to make ends meet. He met the love of my life; Grandma, during World War 2 and she was then bethroed to him with his black and white photograph in her hand, they met for the first time in their lives on their wedding night. They couldn't afford the luxury of a personal television and as you might have already guessed, 3 generations later, I now have my dad, 7 uncles and 3 aunts. If you appreciate the history of the times, my grandparents were married to a specific theme; Survival. When the Japanese invaded our shores, being the young, adrenalin pumped, sex starved beasts that they had evolved into, single women were very much susceptible to brutal and prolonged rapings. Grandma didn't have a choice. But the glaring fact remains till this very day, that she loved him for all the days of their spent lives and even after he passed on, her love for him never did die. Was such reciprocal attraction ever given a minute chance to nurture? It appears highly unlikely. But then, how did 2 complete strangers consumate their wedding upon seeing each other for the first time, beared 11 children, and stuck through it all for 50 years. Only love has such immense power over the sane. Yet was there attraction in the first instance?
TO BE CONTINUED
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
Genesis
Isn't the internet and technology a most fascinating innovation and evolution of the human race?? I must profess I was never a hardcore techy...but yet I'm constantly deeply intrigued and seduced by the technological advances of today.
This is my first ever blog and posting. How shall I begin? This whole purpose is to document life in itself but as you already are aware, how could we possibly ascribe words to depict our whole being, our whole self, our whole lives? Having said that, this is possibly the closest you can get apart from photographs and a diary and fortunately, you can never run dry on cyber memory.
It is a somewhat melancholic night...yet a most comforting one. Have you realized that in moments of sadness, devoid is this world of systems, systems of the left and of the right. In that very instant, all is real and the self sees through the heart, and all is clear, and when such melancholy subsides, then serenity engulfs and more often that not, rejuvenates and gives strength...perhaps pain is the catalyst.
I'll be 30 this year...one foot in the grave as many might put it...I wish I was an octopus (I sure am corny). Well, this blogs all about me and I hope to be in extreme vanity. I will entail more in time to come but for now, exhaustion has come knocking ever so suddenly...sleep tight...I will see you soon enough.
This is my first ever blog and posting. How shall I begin? This whole purpose is to document life in itself but as you already are aware, how could we possibly ascribe words to depict our whole being, our whole self, our whole lives? Having said that, this is possibly the closest you can get apart from photographs and a diary and fortunately, you can never run dry on cyber memory.
It is a somewhat melancholic night...yet a most comforting one. Have you realized that in moments of sadness, devoid is this world of systems, systems of the left and of the right. In that very instant, all is real and the self sees through the heart, and all is clear, and when such melancholy subsides, then serenity engulfs and more often that not, rejuvenates and gives strength...perhaps pain is the catalyst.
I'll be 30 this year...one foot in the grave as many might put it...I wish I was an octopus (I sure am corny). Well, this blogs all about me and I hope to be in extreme vanity. I will entail more in time to come but for now, exhaustion has come knocking ever so suddenly...sleep tight...I will see you soon enough.
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