WTF!!!

omg...its been yonks since I last blogged!!! I have proven my incessant inherent sheer laziness yet once more and trust me, I'm not the least bit proud of it...its somewhat embarassing haha it really is a tumultuous task to unlearn...

To be honest, I really don't know what I'm gonna write about tonight. I must admit that it is yet another melancholic night and perhaps, that just made me want to pen. I've got Stevie boy in the background belching out lately...it soothes my very soul. Maybe its really is what people term a mid life crisis thats eating into me of late. I never used to believe in all these acronyms, these technical jargons conjured by man; cause how is it possible to ascribe a certain standard to a feeling; one that is unique and different in varying intensities in that one individual moment? But perhaps now I do comprehendo...perhaps words are the closest one can get to describing that very moment.

I'm gonna be 30 this year. In the eyes of the common masses, I should be a happy man. But why do I want so much more? I've realized that innately, it is not wants of the systems of the left and of the right that will make me happy...I cannot yet pin point the specifics, but I do know this is not it. The careers going good by most. An analyst with a hedge fund thats nominated for the best fund 2006, how shabby can that get. They've given me a handsome bonus and pay raise, they've voiced their appreciation and look forward to more good times. The cars souped up, a nice turbo, monstrous brakes, streetable coilovers etc etc...isn't that every boy's dream?? I guess its never enough...isnt it...shites, whitney houstons playing now hahaha

I've also appreciated the realism of the human nature. You can never be too nice or genuine...it rarely pays. When you're all real, it just so happens that it's a natural biological attribute for one to take that for granted. When you divulge too much, you wear your vulnearbility on your sleeve. Do you think most people would appreciate the truth? Nah...they'd probably be looking out for the next moment to screw you, take you for granted or have you on the backburner for that matter. Its human nature and they'd probably weren't aware so you can't really fault them...but its there...its in their subconcious...its Darwanian and all about survival of the fittest...anyones that read Blink by Malcolm Galdwell would agree. I've realized, you've gotta make people work for your love and respect. Give it to them only if they're worth it, only if they work hard enough to deserve it. They will not appreciate if its served on a silver platter, they never will. And to that, Fxxx them!!!